The eighth edition of Rugby World Cup kicks off tonight with an opening ceremony that promises to be…brief.  Our man on the ground will be Shôn Douglas.  Here, he gives his thought’s on what we can expect…

I’m currently sat on a National Express coach bound for London, consoling myself about the lack of jolly hostess selling crisps and tea with the small matter of the Rugby World Cup 2015 opening ceremony to look forward to.  England 2015 has been a long time coming (I still remember the initial uproar over Welford Road not being selected as a venue!) and tonight we get to witness the opening ceremony for the third largest sporting event in the world.  So what will the opening ceremony have in store for us?  Here, I idly speculate as to what England 2015’s organisers have planned:

Ella Eyre will warble her way through a rendition of Swing Low (potentially multiple times)

Miss Eyre was selected to churn out a local-radio-bothering, chart-friendly version of the England supporters’ anthem. With backing from a school choir and probably a massive gospel choir, she’ll likely wander around the pitch at Twickenham in a white suit.  This will be interspersed with video footage compelling us to #carrythemhome

Matt Dawson will do the Hakarena

This week’s latest viral sensation/cultural slur comes from bald-headed Masterchef and Question of Sport star Matt Dawson. His take on the Haka (traditional war dance of the Maori people) has been met with equal parts amusement and horror. Maybe allowing him to perform it ahead of a potential England v New Zealand game might be a better option? I’d pay good money to see Brodie Retallick mete out some cultural justice!

Brian May atop a badger

Brian May of Queen fame absolutely loves a ceremony.  If Jimmy Page is unavailable, Eco-campaigner and physics graduate May will grace the hallowed turf atop a mechanical badger in support for his ground dwelling friends who are the target of a controversial government cull.  Hopefully he doesn’t contract TB off any sharp edges. The irony would be too much!

Flames…Lots and lots of flames

I’ll be forgoing the flammable materials tonight as I imagine the amount of pyrotechnics on offer will make Twickenham look more like Mount Doom (and likely lead to a few 999 calls!).  Given the amount of pomp and drama that forms the preamble to regular tests, one can assume they’ll be going hard on the fireworks.

Inflatables

Having received a relative schooling from the Chinese in Beijing, London 2012 went with a slightly more eccentric approach to an opening ceremony. One thing we do love is an inflatable! I imagine a giant ball being passed about by the O2 giants as they step over the mechanical badgers and flames.

So those are my guesses. Whatever happens it’ll be exciting to be in the stadium to witness it, and I’m certain the opening match will provide plenty of fireworks to offset any lack of them during the opening ceremony itself.